'Dating outside the tribe', as it's commonly referred to, becomes inevitable in small paddling communities.

A common problem paddlers face occurs when we get into a relationship with someone who either is not a paddler (yet), or who is not at ease paddling the same sorts of water you are- paddling, if you're into it, takes up a good amount of your time and passion, and this can be stressful on any relationship.  Juggling your 'me' time and your 'relationship' time will be a test of your relationship, but it is very doable, provided you don't make many of the most common mistakes, and if you're willing to give your relationship what it needs.

All relationships involve some give and take, they describe a process where both partners work together to get what they need to be happy with it- you give and receive attention, love, respect, security, etc... but when one partner is away paddling, this can feel like neglect.  One girl related a story about how she had dreams about her paddling boyfriend having affairs with girls named 'River' and 'Rainy' for quite some time before she realized that it was his paddling, rather than his fidelity, that was prompting these dreams.  It was a relief to realize that she was comfortable with his fidelity, but it also brought to light a real problem with their relationship- she was uncomfortable on some level with the amount of time he spent away from her, and wanted more time with him.  Faced with the alternatives of asking him to paddle less or joining him, she decided to learn how to paddle, both because it looked fun, and in order to share the experience with him.

If this story sounds familiar, read on- the following advice may save you much in the way of difficulty later on.

Some Best Practices:

• Understand your Motives: If your partner wants to join you as a paddler, make sure both of you are realistic about why, and about what your objectives are.  Avoid having them paddle 'to be with you'- the risk is that if they don't enjoy paddling for themselves, that they'll end up resenting having to paddle in order to spend time with you.  If they want to be with you, make time for that and that alone.  If they want to paddle, do your best to support that decision... just be clear on what you want, and it will be much easier to get it.
• Set expectations appropriately: If your partner decides to become a paddler, don't expect them to learn at any pace other than their own.  If you learned quickly, that was good for you, but may not happen for them.  Learning to paddle is a very individual process, and each of us faces different challenges, fears, frustrations, and the like.
• Have someone else teach your partner the basics, like rolling and bracing and eddy turns, etc.  These skills are not intuitive, they require repetition and practice, and more importantly, they will impose a certain humility on them.  It's tough to be a beginner at anything, be sensitive to this and avoid putting yourself in the position of having to dish out the humility to them.  Get a friend or a teacher to take on this role, even if you're a good teacher yourself.
• Set expectations appropriately: If your partner decides to become a paddler, encourage them become a paddler on their own terms, encourage them to discover the fun in paddling for themselves, and do your best to enable them to create for themselves an environment in which they can have fun.
• Make your partner responsible for choosing where you paddle together, and with whom. Give them control over how much they want to bite off, and don't suggest runs that might be tough, don't drag along a bunch of experts, go there to paddle with them and whatever beginners they round up.  Go there to have fun with them, do stuff with them, even if it's on a lake.  Do not judge their choice of venue, your paddling together needs to be about a place where both of you can have fun.
• Combine your 'together' paddling with something else fun, like camping or skinny-dipping or hot-springing or something- focus on having fun and all the learning they're doing along the way won't feel at all like work.
• Don't make your time together about them learning.  Shut up.  Let them dink around, let them ask if they want advice, but until then, shut up!  (I'm an instructor, I live to give advice, but trust me, they'll be happier if they have to ask.)
• Reserve your own paddle time for when you want to paddle with your friends.  When you do that, paddle with your friends.  by the same token, if you're with them, paddle with them and make the time about paddling and having fun together.
• Include them in non-paddling social situations with your paddling buddies, they're usually the best ambassadors to the sport, if your partner likes them and gets comfortable around them, he/she'll be interested in paddling with them.  This is a huge incentive for them to get more into it, and also breaks down ego barriers.
• If your partner comes paddling with you and your friends, talk to them and make sure they're on the water to be with your partner, rather than 'letting them hitch along'- that is, if your partner comes along make sure the experience is tailored around giving them what they need to have fun- if the group thinks they can babysit your partner from playspot to playspot and expect your partner to sit in the eddy while they play for an hour, they're not ready for your partner to be along.
• Pay attention to whether your partner is having fun.  If your partner is not having fun, get to the bottom of it, this is the stuff of relationships.  Don't put yourself in the position of being the provider of fun, or the provider of solutions, or the provider of anything- in life, relationships, as in kayaking, you've got to manage your own line.
• Don't worry about how well your partner is progressing as a paddler.  If you focus on the fun, they'll learn quickly enough.  Don't fret, don't get impatient, just focus on the fun.
• Come to terms with the fact that your partner may become better at paddling than you, or that they may never become as good.  If the process becomes about some future goal where you'll both be equal, recognize that right now you may not be having fun, and take steps to have fun together now, you won't regret it.
• Above all, communicate with each other

Good luck, have fun.  If you have comments, suggestions, etc... let me know.